Yesterday morning, Husband was suddenly inspired to go to Home Depot and get stuff to end this annual ant infestation (for this spring, anyway).

He wasn’t dressed, and he’d only just poured a cup of coffee. He’s not really averse to procrastination normally, but yesterday he decided 8:30 AM was it.

So I rolled my eyes at his fat-man sweat pants. He got these things from WalMart (or the dollar store, I don’t remember) for a few dollars. They’re gray, drawstring, super baggy. The crotch is half-way down the leg. They’re nasty. I lamented the idea that he was going to wear them out of the house.

In rebuttal, he teased he would loudly proclaim to whom he is married the whole time, “and,” he jeered, “I’m bringing my coffee. Just as it is.”

I pretended not to care. A few minutes later I got a single picture sent to my phone. Then another. And another.

My husband is a dork.

Ladies? Can anybody top that? Let’s have your weird husband stories.