video

This is from the 1940s … I don’t have an exact date, but I have reason to believe it’s 1943. Not sure I agree with the pre-tribulation rapture idea presented, but it’s fun all the same. I wish I had statistics on this. Something like “Three out of every five individuals who saw this gave their lives to Christ on the spot.” (There’s also some anti-Hillsong message at the end – I don’t agree with that either. I like Hillsong. The person that made this video available on YouTube has some strange agenda … but whatever. We’ll all get over ourselves and the video will still be funny.)

weekend

Where do the weekends go? This here post is a catch-up for the out-of-towners. If you see me several times a week, you may be bored by the ensuing post.

I am going to India. I needed to know by the weekend, and – true to form – the Lord answered in the 11th hour. It wasn’t literally the 11th hour; I think it was closer to 4:30pm. In a meeting with my boss the Holy Spirit pressed me to ask for an extra two weeks of unpaid vacation time in August. I’m very intimidated by my boss, and can honestly report that it’s something I never would have asked him if not for a gripping fear of the Lord at that moment. Honestly, I hope it doesn’t come down to that anyway. I hope I’m out of this job long before August … but that’s a whole seperate issue. (Unless you really feel called to finance a worshipper/youth worship leader and otherwise CITW volunteer. Then it’s not a seperate issue at all, and you should talk to me. Ha.)

We introduced another teenager to his Hope and Salvation Friday night. I never get tired of that. I’d like to see more, but we’re proving ourselves faithful with little right now. I think we’re doing well with it, too.

Friday was also 12 hours of prayer. Pride made an appearance again, followed closely by its good friend, Condemnation. Maybe not. I wasn’t really feeling condemned, as much as I was just disgusted again. I thought about leaving before my 2am prayer time – Titus could have handled it just fine without me and I was feeling too gross to put a mic to my face. Instead, I dozed off on a row of chairs for 20 minutes and woke up at five minutes to 2. I took my place at the piano and hope it availed more in other people than it did in me … not that there were many people still around at 2am.

My husband and I are making headway (finally) on a design for the boxes of black hoodies that have been sitting in our apartment for months. Something finally motivated him, so he’s off and running, and we should have those relatively soon. I know I’m excited.

pride

I am the most prideful person I know.

This is my battle currently. I knew, obviously, that there’s pride in me, but I stared at it last night and it’s worse than I thought. It really is disgusting.

It’s irritating when three year olds get on a “why” kick; it’s really irritating (to my flesh – disclaimer) when Holy Spirit does it. I love Him; I know He’s helping me. My flesh hates it. It brings the deeper motives for everything I do into the light, and, yes, better they’re brought to the light on this side of eternity but that doesn’t make it less painful.

How much of everything that I do, do I do for the Lord? Not how many things of my laundry list of tasks per day do I accomplish for Him (1 point for worship practice, -1 point for dishes). Of each single thing I do for Him, how much am I really doing for Him? Fasting, for example. What is my motive? Is 99% of my motive to draw near my Creator and submit my will to His, and 1% of my motive to gain the approval of my church leaders? Because that’s not good enough. Is my heart really to serve, or to be seen as a servant?

The thing about pride is that its such a painfully obvious thorn that you just have to deal with it. You can’t pretend you didn’t know it was there because it points itself out. If I look at someone and get a knot in my stomach because I’m irritated at his pride … that’s probably my pride whining about how he has nothing to be so proud about. Ouch. (Of course I’m sure there are circumstances wherein someone may have a word of knowledge about someone else struggling with pride, or a spirit of discerning on the matter, but if it’s God it will be compassionate instead of annoying.)

Complications on the matter:
False humility is also pride.
A poor self-image is not the same thing as humility.

So I’m working on this.