(Go here.)

Unrelated:
It’s been Lessons in Leadership for me this week. Most recently, in the art of following.

Because you can’t have authority until you learn to submit to authority, right? The wonderful cycle of submitting to authority and using authority just never ends. I can honestly say that being in a leadership role has probably made me a much better follower.

And the lessons in following have extended to others recently. Not just any “others,” either (that rolls off the tongue, huh?) – some of my dearest others. Which has had me really mulling and praying over it for days. I’ve come to one conclusion, so here it is, my be-a-good-follower tip of the day:

Philippians 2:14//Do all things without complaining or disputing.

That’s not a heavy-handed order. I really think that’s the call to discipleship and servanthood (which is what this whole thing is about anyway). If we’re serving God, then we’re serving the people He puts over us, and I think our relationships with those people should be marked by Philippians 2:14. Joke, suggest, emote, share, muse … just don’t complain and don’t argue.

Jesus is so nice to me.

We’ve been kind of arguing lately. By arguing I mean I’ve been asking Him questions – one in particular – and He’s been very quiet. I know that there’s a reason, but sometimes a straight answer to a simple question would just be nice. Sometimes I’d really like to not grow through any experience or anything like that, and just get a simple answer to a simple question. Then I get frustrated and it’s kind of like arguing.

I’m not going to elaborate because it would sound like a shallow plea for pity, but that’s the emotion in my heart right now. Love struggling to be patient through serious frustration. That’s the backdrop.

In the meantime, at work, I’ve been asked to condense my notes on 20 books that I’ve read in the past year into one-page summaries. Bullet points and a couple good quotes. “Talking points,” they’ve been called. Can do.

It’s been an interesting opportunity to review some really good material that I went through rather quickly. Transforming Church, Breakout Churches, Good to Great, The Contrarian’s Guide to Leadership… Really good stuff. Most of it is about leadership and/or ministry, so naturally I’m reviewing it all through the eyes of a youth leader.

About a week into this project I am convinced I’m a terrible leader. Surveying the general condition of those things which I have been placed in leadership of, I’ve had a couple of really bad evenings in the past week (and sure, part of that is PMS, but not all of it). (Here again, I forbid you from tempting my ego by posting anything to the contrary in the comments. Don’t make me disable the comments again.)

So I’ve been praying for myself lately, which alerted me to potentially part of my problem: I hardly ever pray for myself. That’s not to brag – because it’s really not a very good thing – it’s just the way I am. I talk to Holy Spirit throughout the day, so when it’s “prayer time,” I just forget to pray for myself. But if I’m not praying for me on a regular basis, who is?

*crickets*

Exactly.

So I’ve been praying for myself lately, that God would help me in this and make me a better leader. We were talking about it on the way to work this morning and He solved it for me. “You’re not the leader, Lex, I am. You’re just one of the first ones in line.”

(And, of course, He was talking about my specific situation. Considering the global body of Christ over the past 2000 years, I’m one of the last in line.)

And that did it for me. I’m just one of the first ones in line. I follow the people ahead of me as they follow Jesus, and the people behind me do the same. If someone ahead of me veers away from the path Jesus is laying out, then it’s my responsibility to look up and stay on the right path. That’s so simple. This is going to sound silly, but Jesus is brilliant.

“I AM.”

Sometimes I forget that’s God speaking, not me.

I remember hearing or reading a story recently about a young Asian athlete. This girl messed up at – I believe – an Olympic competition. Through her tears immediately afterward, she could be heard to lament not for her own loss or pain, but for the embarrassment and the disappointment she brought to her family and her country.

It’s vague, I know, but the moral I perceived stuck with me.

Americans are very individualistic people. Anyone can see why; individualism sells more stuff. When you, personally, are supposed to be the most beautiful, the most affluent, the smartest, the most desired, etc. it doesn’t matter if your best friend has one you can borrow or use – you need one for yourself. Whatever it is. Individualism, ego, and pride sell stuff.

I wonder sometimes how much of that mentality has corrupted the Church in America. I think it’s worse than we initially nod our heads at. I think we’re so used to it that we think it’s normal, and we don’t always realize how self-focused we really are. I think that’s why that story struck me, because that would not have been the source of my despair.

Yes, I know that God knew me before the foundations of the world. I know that He numbers the hairs on my head, and is familiar with every tear I’ve ever cried. I know. And it’s important to know, and to teach, that God knows us personally and loves us personally.

Sometimes, though … I wonder if we know it too much.

What about the body of Christ? What about the disciples not knowing want because each gave what he had to the Church, and the Church gave to each what he needed? What about bearing one another’s burdens? I don’t think that applies only to prayer.

Sometimes I wonder if we become so focused on our ministries, our callings, our anointings, and what God is doing in and through us as individuals that we don’t see ourselves as part of the body. We know we are, but do we really believe it?

Do we wonder how our driving habits impact our neighbors’ impressions of the Church? Do we wonder how we could serve our local church more? When we have a little extra money, do we indulge ourselves or do we ask God who to give it to?

Do we see ourselves as the body of Christ first and individuals second, or vise versa? Because isn’t that servanthood? Isn’t that being a “slave of all?” Putting everyone – even if it’s “everyone” collectively – before self?